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Surb Bird's Eye View

What can we do with the Hole in the High Street?

SurbBird: November 19, 2010 - 6:51pm

I am fed up with the Hole in the High Street. I am also reasonably sure I’m not alone in this.

We will always, always remember

SurbBird: November 15, 2010 - 1:14pm

The Royal British Legion makes a fortune out of me. Every year I must buy at least 10 poppies to replace the previous poppy that I’ve lost, ripped, crushed, dropped food over, sat on, eaten—but I suppose that this is one instance when my incessant clumsiness is a good thing.

It's a Good Life for a Margot in Surbiton

SurbBird: November 8, 2010 - 12:31pm

Perhaps it was only a matter of time before The Good Life got a mention here—after all, apart from having a prominent mainline station, it’s Surbiton’s only real claim to fame (The Good Life is much funnier than the station, anyway)—and in light of this week’s new BBC2 televisual feast, ‘Giles and Sue Live the Good Life’, to mark the sitcom’s 35th anniversary, it seemed not just fitting but practically essential that it is this week’s topic.

Halloween slashes Surbiton

SurbBird: October 31, 2010 - 5:33pm

Two things are certain about Halloween: one is that many people will get over-excited and deliberately go at themselves with the bread knife to give them a realistic bloodied appearance for the Halloween party, and the other is that many other people will get very annoyed and bad-tempered about the whole thing and doggedly refuse to answer the door to small children dressed as ghouls.

Sunday suburban skiing celebrates Surbiton's silliness

SurbBird: October 18, 2010 - 10:59am

I love Ski Sunday. What a marvelous way to celebrate the art of being incredibly silly.

Unsuspecting Surbitonians baffled by appearance of the sun

SurbBird: October 8, 2010 - 4:19pm

Only four weeks into writing for this website and I’m already reduced to writing about the weather.

Students descend on Surbiton

SurbBird: October 1, 2010 - 1:56pm

If you’re wondering why there’s been a sudden increase in confused-looking young people in and around Surbiton in the last couple of weeks, or why there are people sitting in the Victoria drinking lager in their pyjamas, or why there isn’t a single Sainsbury’s Basics product left on the shelves, it’s because, dear Surbitonians, the Students Are Back.

Fun, felicity and frolics at the festival

SurbBird: September 25, 2010 - 6:17pm
I woke up this morning and thought ‘Do you know what, I really fancy guzzling a huge piece of cake, having an outdoor massage, winning a bottle of ketchup in a tombola, getting high off the fumes from a 1960s Borgward, having a lot of people walk into me, and watching some Morris dancers caper about on a station forecourt ’.

Waitrose refurb causes mental turmoil

SurbBird: September 20, 2010 - 11:47am
If a baby rhinoceros wearing Lederhosen and lipstick settled down in the station forecourt and started to play the spoons, I don’t think it could cause as much social unrest as the refurbishment of Waitrose has done.